Badolina
The values and the agreements
These are the things the group wrote for itself, in the language it wrote them in. They were not written for a website — they were written to be lived by.
The seven values
Open, honest communication — and family intimacy first
It is allowed, and wanted, to talk about everything, including in the group. Do not keep it in your stomach — but also do not unload on someone without checking first. Check that they are available, ask for the space, and then talk.
Listen first, respond only afterwards
With kind and curious eyes. And when you are not available for that — ask for whatever you need in order to be. “No single person holds the whole picture and knows better than everyone else.”
We are hosts, before anything else
Everyone is a host, including when they are not “on shift”. Treat the space as if it were our home, host in it as if our guests were guests in our home — and keep our own limits as if we were in our own private home.
We pass the open-communication mindset on to our guests
We ask that whatever happens, happens out of open, aware conversation and enthusiastic desire. We ask our guests to take responsibility for themselves, for their interactions, and to be sensitive to other people's limits.
“What do I want?” — and then move
We look for what lights us up most, and we put our energy there.
If you see a job, blow it!
Enthusiastic desire, or at the very least responsible consent
Nobody ever has to do anything, and there is no reason for anyone to do something they really do not want to do. But that does not mean we do nothing — it means we find what we do want to do, and we do it with our whole heart.
Leadership that is circular and rotating
The people who make the decisions are the people who are available enough and care enough to be in the circle. And whoever is not available to lead — supports and speaks up when needed, and also trusts and backs whoever chose to take the reins this time.
The twelve agreements
The agreements are not rules we enforce, but a shared intention that all of us are asking to hold — for ourselves, for one another, and for the space we share. We are allowed to not get it right, we are allowed to slip and not notice, because we are human. The invitation is to keep trying and to be a little better each time.
General
- Every space for conversation, emotional or practical, has someone holding it: proposing an agenda, framing it, keeping time. The role rotates, and is checked again before every gathering.
- Whoever holds the space is authorised by all of us — we agree to authorise them and to trust them to keep the agreements on behalf of all of us.
- No one holds the whole picture. Each of us holds a part, and each of us has a part they cannot see.
Listening
- Curiosity — what can I learn from what someone else is telling me, and what gift can I receive from them.
- Presence and attention. And if the body is activated or tired — ask for what you need in order to be able to listen.
- Kind eyes — reminding ourselves that nobody wants to hurt anyone. Everyone is doing the best they can.
Sharing
- Humility — I do not know everything, and I do not know what is right for other people. I do not assume.
- Checking that the other person is available — even when it is obvious to me that I have a gift, I check whether they want to receive it.
- Different perspectives on the same reality — speak only from my own experience, and leave room for a different one.
- Holding the energy together — gathering the circle back in when it scatters.
- Honest and brave sharing — opening up what is hard and painful, bringing light to the dramas in the shadows and to what goes unsaid, and working through it together.
- Awareness of using power or manipulation — and if it happens, taking responsibility for the reason and saying it out loud.
- Sensitivity and responsibility for our words.
How people join
- Your name comes to the camp group, so we can make sure everyone is good with it and that there are no objections or triggers.
- A “first date” — a meeting where we check that it feels good and that we both want to keep going together.
- Taking part in the journey before the event is part of the thing, not only showing up at the event.
To create a place where people can truly let themselves sink into delight, it first has to feel safe and comfortable for everyone who chooses to take part.